Tiger Woods has no right to an opinion

Tiger Woods just missed the cut for the eighth time as a professional on the PGA Tour, but like most Americans, I’m not nearly as interested in his performance on the golf course as I am in his performance… in bed.

So I know this is really old news, but I was just cleaning up my desktop and came across this artifact of a .jpg, which I had at one point cropped to create a more appropriately-sized ‘feature photo’ for the post This article could not have a more appropriate ending, and oh my god, his mistresses are dressed in their slutty finest and still – still – I can’t imagine why he would ever think of touching them with a ten-foot nine iron:

And, as intimated by the title of this post, I would like to reiterate, and I mean this in the most respectful way possible, but Tiger Woods has forfeit his right to an opinion about anything, ever.

I suppose it’s possible that he’s blind, which would really make his accomplishments as a professional golfer that much more amazing. So really, Tiger Woods either has no taste or he’s the most remarkable athlete who ever lived.

But then again, Lance Armstrong won the Tour de France with one testicle, so I’m gonna go with the former.

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