The obligatory Facebook stalk, Part II

I couldn’t, in good conscience, go to bed leaving Part I of this series as my most recent post. So I wrote Part II:

Despite my personal ambivalence, digital trawling has become standard media practice. Lest my previous post mislead you, most instances of journalistic Facebook stalking are rather mundane. Leaving aside whether the practice is appropriate, I feel compelled to point out that, oftentimes, it’s not even relevant:

Simpson, whose Facebook page displayed her love of stylish hairdos, allegedly stabbed Frazier inside their dorm after the two disagreed about music Simpson was playing while she was getting ready to go to a homecoming event.

Adam, whose Facebook page has 600 fans, said: “I wasn’t very keen at first. I’d start at 5.30am doing my milk rounds, finish at dinner time, and then go out in the ice-cream van.”

Misty Lawson, 30, a self-described “professional baby maker” on her Facebook page, allegedly punched her son in the face and body several times.

Wozniak, whose Facebook page pictures him with the cast from the “Sopranos” and jokes he attended “Whatsamata U” University, also was released on bond, leaving court without comment.

That last excerpt taken from an article titled Ex-alderman, county commissioner charged in corruption probe; what in the world does a corruption probe have to do with the Sopranos?

OK, so sometimes it is relevant. Here are a couple more examples:

[Los Angeles model Kourtney] Reppert, whose Facebook page has dozens of photos of Reppert modeling in sometimes revealing attire…  – Los Angeles model says she was cyberstalked

Cops were able to trace the phone to Johnson, whose Facebook page reportedly displayed some of the same photos found on the cell phone. – Deputies: Kiddie porn found on couple’s lost phone at Walmart

But despite these examples, Facebook stalking is – more often than not – a waste of space on the internet. Here’s my favorite example, from an article titled Betsy Brashear Lured Teen Boy Into Tanning Booth, Got Naked And Kissed Him: Oklahoma Cops:

Brashear, whose Facebook page lists one of her favorite books as “Thanks for the Memories,” was charged with a felony count of lewd acts with a minor under 16.

Here’s a blurb about Thanks for the Memoriescourtesy of Amazon:

A compelling and perceptive tale of intimacy, memory and relationships from the bestselling author How can you know someone you’ve never met? Joyce Conway leaves hospital after recovering from a terrible accident. Having faced a near-death experience, she is suddenly awakened to the stark reality of her futile marriage, and vows to start afresh – separating from husband Conor and moving back in with her dad. Justin Hitchcock arrives in Dublin to give a guest lecture. Recently divorced and living near his daughter Bea, but far from his Chicago home, he’s lonely and restless. When beautiful doctor Sarah persuades him to give blood, he nonchalantly accepts, hoping he’ll at least get a date with her. Then one rainy evening, Joyce and Justin cross paths in the strangest of circumstances. They have no idea that their fates are more entangled than they could ever have imagined …

Feel free to double-check my work, but so far as I can tell, the book whose title the article went out of its way to cite has nothing to do teenage boys, tanning booths, or Oklahoma City.

Though I guess the fact that Brashear is from Oklahoma City told you everything you really needed to know.


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