You keep using those words. I do not think they mean what you think they mean.

By now, I’m sure you’ve heard them on the radio or seen them on TV. But it doesn’t matter how you’ve encountered the advertisements for a supplement made to counter so-called “male menopause” — Ageless Male — because without fail, they all share the single element that is the subject of this very post:

Ageless Male

Ageless Male promises its product is “100% risk free”. This phrase is apparently intended to convey the meaning that any potential user is entitled to a 30 day free trial, money-back guarantee. If you don’t get the results you were hoping for, you can call the trial off.

But I prefer to read “risk free” slightly differently — Ageless Male will increase your exposure to risk, for free.

You see, defining risk in terms of monetary risk is a decidedly narrow-minded way to do it. It turns out Ageless Male is a testosterone booster. And according to the number one source for modern-day medical information — the internet — the risks of high testosterone levels in men include heart disease, increased breast size, sleep apnea, cyst growth in the prostate, fluid retention, myocardial infarction, reduced production of sperm, and skin problems. I’m no doctor, but that all sounds pretty risky to me.

If you’ve made it this far in my post, you’re probably wondering why I’m bothering to point this out. Great, “risk free” is a moderately ambiguous term. And obviously, you probably figured out for yourself that taking “Ageless Male” would not likely be a good step from a health point of view.

Well, it’s the source of that article detailing the risks of artificially boosting testosterone levels that got me: Livestrong.com — official partner of the Livestrong Foundation. Again, this isn’t breaking new territory, but I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to remind you that performance-enhancing drugs may have increased Lance Armstrong’s risk of cancer so that he could beat cancer and establish a foundation dedicated to warning people against taking cancer-causing performance-enhancing drugs even as he continued to use them himself to beat France.

Delicious.

Then again, I suppose Lance gets a pass on using that testosterone-olive oil mixture in particular because, presumably, his natural output was cut in half.

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