“The Single Creepiest Thing You Can Do on Facebook” is not actually all THAT creepy

Courtesy of Sam Biddle over at Gizmodo and AS’ gchat status, we have The Single Creepiest Thing You Can Do on Facebook:

It’s customary, when courting a potential sexual partner or vetting an employee, to go through their Facebook profile.  And of course the best part of any profile is the tagged pictures, that constellation of arms-around-each-other, dorm vignettes, raised cups, and dour weddings… And then you reach it.

The first picture. The first tag. It’s usually unflattering, and the subject doesn’t resemble the human you now know. Depending on what generation we’re talking about, it could be a prom picture. Gosh.

But do not.
Under any circumstances.
Like that photo.

Don’t click like.

Don’t like the first photo. If you do, you have broadcast to perhaps thousands of mutual friends: Hello, I just scrolled through every single one of this acquaintance’s pictures.

Alright, I’ll keep this short, but someone has to say it: Biddle clearly has never used Facebook.

Is liking that first picture creepy? Sure. By all means, don’t do it.

But is it the creepiest thing you can do on Facebook? Absolutely not. All it takes to get to that “first picture” is go to someone’s most recent tags and hit the left arrow. Once.

The creepy sweet spot is somewhere in the middle — say, a picture from 2009* — something you really had to go digging for using more than a couple of easy clicks. Or accidentally type the name of the person you’re searching for into your status box. Definitely something else — not this.

Now, when I pointed this out to AS, he responded that a) he did not write the article, b) he knows that already and has some creepier ideas (what?), and c) someone else also pointed this out to him. Yet, as I write, the article is still sitting in his gchat status. Which means, well, he’s sort of just asking for it. [Editor’s note: friending Limor just so you can like this photo would rank pretty high up the list in part b), h/t YT] [Editor’s note: That said, feel free to ‘like’ any old picture of AS even if you can’t like this one.]

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*Annual reminder I’ve had a Facebook account for about 1/3 of the time I’ve spent on this earth.

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5 thoughts on ““The Single Creepiest Thing You Can Do on Facebook” is not actually all THAT creepy”

  1. There are far creepier things to do on Facebook than push the “Like” button… inappropriate comments & wall posts, sending friend requests to another’s entire friend list, and virtual (and literal) location stalking come to mind as far creepier things than liking a given photo.

    Like

    1. I swear to god, at literally the instant the email alert popped up for this comment, Dr. Dre (by way of iTunes on shuffle) said, “Nothing you idiots, Dr. Dre’s dead”, just kidding, he said: “Then go home with, something to poke on.” I fucking love coincidences.

      Like

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