Guest post: Stalking a Barnard grad all over the internet

By: Zviiiiiiiiiiiiiii

I remember being impressed by the sheer number of people in the graduating class my year at Penn. Much of my graduation was spent looking out over the crowd to see how many friends and acquaintances I could pick out (Editor’s note: not many, but based on the photographic evidence below, min=5).

Here’s a herd of gazers, including me with an umbrella under my chin (because rain had threatened earlier — Editor’s note: “and I have a weak neck”):

zviiiiiii

Fortunately, no professional photographers captured the moment, or we could have soon become symbols for academic malaise and anxiety — which is precisely what happened to one Barnard graduate:

Barnard girl

This young woman has the distinction of being rather tall, or perhaps rather short — but really good at finding chairs to stand on. Besides that, it’s hard to say much of anything about her just from looking at her picture. That didn’t stop the internets from sharing with us her life story.

1. Here she is, looking for a job [note: no need to read any of the text in these screenshots beyond the headlines]:

Forbes job

Certainly took her long enough even though she’s so darn employable:

Forbes employable

2. Here she is, buried in debt, and victimized by horrible headline punmanship:

Cap and groan

3. Here she is, victimized by gender discrimination:

sexism

4. And here she is, admidst allegations she cheated to get that mortarboard (looks guilty, doesn’t she?):

cheater

And all that just because she wanted a better view of President Obama!

She probably wouldn’t have half those problems if only Forbes (twice), the New York Post, the Daily Beast, and the Denver Post just paid up for all those times they used her image.

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