J Street might have carved the worst pumpkin of all time. All time.

A much-appreciated anonymous tip this afternoon (through the Paper Treiger Feedback Form) alerted me to the existence of an article that appeared today in the Washington Free Beacon, J Street Loses Pumpkin Carving Contest. Here’s the gist:

The liberal Middle East lobbying group J Street was crowned the loser of its office building’s annual pumpkin carving contest after entering a sloppily carved peace sign into the competition, according to sources close to the contest.

J Street carved what experts deemed a crooked peace sign into its pumpkin, which was then surrounded by the group’s literature and a bottle of Bacardi’s moderately priced “Puerto Rican Rum.”

A lit candle had been placed inside the pumpkin.

J Street also fashioned arms for its pumpkin out of green pipe cleaners. One raised arm was waving a peace sign, while the other arm held what observers described as a flag of surrender.

It read:  “#PumpkinsForPeace.”

The article goes on in a similar vein, describing shot glasses painted with the phrase, “Fill to the green line,” and a “sign for peace” in “Palestine,” “Israel,” and “the Middle East.”

On the one hand, the article sort of meandered from detail to detail like a piece of poorly-conceived Purim Torah, which is perhaps appropriate on the occasion of a holiday celebrated in costume. On the other hand, if the article was meant as a joke, I failed to find the humor. On the gripping hand, we’re talking about a report that seems to have been filed only in the Free Beacon, so — as I’ve learned from personal experience — it doesn’t always have to make sense.

That said, the article did make me briefly wonder what pumpkin AIPAC — sworn enemy of J Street — might have entered into a similar contest. On the one hand, the group lobbies on behalf of the America-Israel alliance, and Halloween is not widely celebrated in one of those countries (see, On a lot of holidays I don’t celebrate). On the other hand, I have a hard time imagining staffers could hold themselves back from labeling their pumpkins Natanza, Isfahan, Bushehr, and so on — and following that up like this:


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