Far be it from me to tell you how to run your Twitter account

As they say, Department of the Interior, slow and steady wins the race — so maybe you could have waited to post your indisputably adorable picture of the tiny bog turtle to Twitter for just one day . . . so you wouldn’t have had to end up re-posting it with literally the very next tweet:

Continue reading Far be it from me to tell you how to run your Twitter account

Corrigendum for Ben Wyatt (of Parks and Rec)

[Warning: mild spoilers ahead for people who are mildly behind, like myself. (I haven’t sen the most recent episode.)]

In the second most-recent episode of Parks and Recreation, Ben Wyatt bemoans the state of his and Leslie’s finances.

We just spent our entire savings account on a trip to Paris. What were we thinking? We spent too much money on macaroons!

Wrong, Ben, you spent too much money on macarons — with one O.

Here’s the Wikipedia page for macaroons — two Os:

Continue reading Corrigendum for Ben Wyatt (of Parks and Rec)

My mom told me to study so I wrote a short Mother’s Day post instead. Happy Mother’s Day!

Google gets all the buzz (pun intended) for its creative and whimsical doodles that often celebrate special occasions and people. For instance, here’s how the search engine decided to mark Mother’s Day:

Google Mother's Day

But Google isn’t the only website that updates its otherwise-static home page on the daily. Ostensible rival search engine Bing hosts a rotating cast of photographs each day, which I happen to see because it is featured on the search screen of my Windows Phone.

Like Google doodles, these images are sometimes chosen to celebrate special occasions. Here’s what Bing has on display this Mother’s Day:

Continue reading My mom told me to study so I wrote a short Mother’s Day post instead. Happy Mother’s Day!

The most public defecation of all time. All time.

Millions of visitors* were greeted, at some earlier point today, by this Huffington Post “splash” screen:

Huff post defecation face obscured

…one more publicly than them all…

Listen, I get it, HuffPo: posting a picture of a person pooping in public is a good way to provoke concern.  And that’s likely step one for finding a solution.

But — in addition to the public hygiene component of the problem — there is also a certain degree of human dignity at stake. Nobody deserves to have the world wide web watch them defecate in a dump.

And even if you think it’s no big deal, and that this kid will never learn of his prominent placement so that he could become embarrassed about it — you’re probably right, but considering that, according to the UN, more people on this planet have access to cellphones than toilets, the chance he will is certainly higher than zero.

Next time, perhaps a drop of consideration** is in order. Even if, for the people you’re covering, the toilet is permanently out.

Continue reading The most public defecation of all time. All time.

Jon Stewart and I spent our Passovers in basically the same way

I recently returned to school from celebrating Passover. For the two weeks I was out of town, I attended no classes, barely had a chance to read emails, played numerous games (well, a few games many times), and spent quality time with the family — it was an altogether glorious vacation.

I read two whole books over break — Neil Gaiman’s The Ocean at the End of the Lane and Thomas Pynchon’s Bleeding Edge — unfortunately, neither had anything to do with the class I was missing.

But I don’t want to give the impression that I slacked off the whole time. I also sat down by the pool with a casebook, Land Use Controls, and managed to get through about 100 pages by the end of Passover.

Meanwhile, Jon Stewart also took a fortuitously-timed break from The Daily Show between April 10 and April 21, which means he also took off the first half of Passover:

Stewart break

Leibowitz returned to the airwaves with a segment titled Apocalypse Cow, featuring — who else? — Cliven Bundy, and revealed that he spent his time away studying the exact same material:


Continue reading Jon Stewart and I spent our Passovers in basically the same way

Aish.com tried to derive theological meaning from Star Wars. It went about as well as you might expect.

In a shocking departure from its usually-substantive coverage, Aish.com did its best to celebrate May the Fourth with an article titled simply, Star Wars’ Jewish Themes? The author has clearly never heard of Betteridge’s law of headlines, as he appears to have, at first, taken the assignment quite seriously.

There’s plenty to pick on here, but I’m going to skip ahead to the part where he describes the primary parallel between Judaism and the Force:

In the end, the battle between good and evil is played out within each of us.

In the end! But not a moment before. (I suppose that’s why Darth Vader… never mind, spoilers!)

But while the author-who-shall-not-be-named (sorry, wrong franchise) (but seriously, I can’t name him because his name is absent from the article) manages to play it mostly straight for most of the article, flaws begin to show towards the end (well, about three paragraphs beforehand, and I hope you weren’t surprised to discover the evil lurking a drop too early).

First, he allows us to understand why he views the battle between good and evil as a uniquely Judaic concept — because he knows next to nothing about any other religions aside from what they are called:

Continue reading Aish.com tried to derive theological meaning from Star Wars. It went about as well as you might expect.