Kid Mayor’s tenure has been an absolute abomination of nutritional sufficiency

You’re probably already familiar with Kid President — but have you heard of Kid Mayor?

If not, you’re already too late. “Kid Mayor” Robert “Bobby” Tufts was ousted on Sunday, after two years at the head of tiny Dorset, Minnesota.

The story’s pretty adorable — I’m not going to rehash it here — but I, for one, am glad his term is over. The five year old was clearly ill equipped for anything resembling a position of responsibility. Every article I found about Tufts mentioned that one of the main planks in his campaign platform was “to declare ice cream top of the food pyramid.” And you thought the United States government accomplishes nothing; the top of the pyramid is kind of where ice cream already belongs — in the part where you’re not supposed to eat too much:

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And if you want to point out this is not what the food pyramid looks like anymore, the new food pyramid doesn’t even have a top.

 

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