Benedict Cumberbatch is a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life,* and mean

If Benedict Cumberbatch had only become engaged, dayenu.

But the actor’s also making headlines (“Benedict Cumberbatch goes old-school with engagement“) for how he and the prospective** missus made the announcement:

Instead of releasing a statement through an army of publicists or posting a photo of engagement rings on Instagram, Cumberbatch went old-school and posted an engagement notice in the Wednesday edition of UK paper The Times.

Here’s what that looked like:


Just one problem: “Wanda and Timothy Cumberbatch”?

Excuse me while I check the Google (click to embiggen***):


Carlton, I suppose, has a claim to the name “Timothy Cumberbatch” — it is, after all, the one he was actually born with. But Wanda Cumberbatch? Nope, she’s still just Wanda Ventham.

You might have thought the actor who plays Sherlock would better know the name of his own mother. It’s almost like Cumberbatch didn’t want people to know he’s getting hitched. Which possibility leads me to one inescapable conclusion: the marriage announcement is a cover, so Benny can finally shack up with his true love, Martin Freeman.

Now that’s some solid detective work.

*I tried to strike through “alone in life”, because he is no more, but you can’t do that to the title. Sad face.

**Not even the thesaurus could provide me with a worthwhile antonym for erstwhile.

***Is that still a thing people say?


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