How’d this enormous coconut crab end up in Hawaii?

Biologists in Hawaii are mystified by the first appearance of a coconut crab on their islands since 1989:

“It’s a rare event that anyone finds a coconut crab in Hawaii,” Robert Toonen, an associate researcher at the University of Hawaii Institute of Marine Biology . . . Toonen surmised it was probably meant for someone’s holiday dinner and escaped; coconut crabs that eat a diet heavy in coconuts are reportedly tasty.

Certainly an interesting theory you’ve got there, Toonen, but if you were a reader of this blog you’d know the real story. That crab you caught, the one with a penchant for coconuts and cats? I’d like you to meet Marshawn Lynch. (See, generally: Marshawn Lynch has made a name for himself in Beast Mode. But what kind of Beast is he? SPOILER: that post concludes he is a coconut crab.)

As for what he’s doing in Hawaii? That’s easy: Marshawn learned his lesson last year, when he was picked for the Pro Bowl but didn’t travel to Hawaii because the Seahawks made it to the Super Bowl (you may have heard). So this year, when he was picked again, he was determined to make the trip anyway — and took some time off during Seattle’s well-deserved bye week to use one of those round-trip tickets Russell Wilson just got him for Christmas:

God, I love it when my story comes together.

PS Check out this mediocre video of a Crabtree:


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