The most anticlimactic trailer of all time. All time.

A good friend recently directed me to the following trailer for the documentary Dark Web. The movie concerns the federal crackdown on Silk Road and the trial of its alleged mastermind, Ross Ulbricht, also known by the alias “Dread Pirate Roberts”. The New York Times helpfully supplies the fact that DPR is “the name of a swashbuckling character from the novel and film ‘The Princess Bride.'”

tl;dw — The trailer asks, “Who is the Dread Pirate Roberts? Authorities say they have their guy. (Background newscaster: 29 year-old Ross Ulbricht.) Is he the man they call DPR?” And one talking head replies: “Plenty of evidence suggests that [Ulbricht] was involved in the Silk Road. They seized his laptop while he was logged in. But I interviewed the Dread Pirate Roberts; the first thing he told me was that there were multiple Dread Pirate Roberts.” A synthetically-disguised voice intones, “At least two other people, if not three.”

Stop the presses! More than one Dread Pirate Roberts? That’s the trailer’s big reveal??? Of course there’s more than one! It’s almost certain that they chose the name for that very reason. All Ulbricht’s defense attorney needs to do is enter this confession into evidence:

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