Mystery solved: The Daily Pennsylvanian is in the pocket of Big Marble

A month and a half ago — though my outrage is still fresh like it was yesterday — I wrote a post that insinuated the Daily Pennsylvanian is a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life, and mean. And mean, etc. And by insinuated, I mean that was the exact title of the post in question.

It’s possible I was slightly mistaken. As it turns out, it’s more than just that the Daily Pennsylvanian is a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life, and mean. And mean, etc. It’s that whoever runs the paper these days has been blinded by the sickeningly obsequious DP columnist who goes by the name of Will Marble — if that’s his real name.

Continue reading Mystery solved: The Daily Pennsylvanian is in the pocket of Big Marble

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Tablet breathes fresh life into the theory Alex Rodriguez is Jewish

Way back in the warm afterglow of the Big Bang that birthed this blog (i.e. January 2012), I put together a post asking whether Alex Rodriguez is Jewish. The answer, I discovered, is almost certainly No — but I also learned a few worthwhile lessons from the consideration of the relevant evidence. You’re welcome, of course, to check it out.

And that’s where things stood, until last week, when Tablet Magazine put together a list of the “All-Time Jewish Home Run Kings“. No, A-Rod wasn’t exactly on that list — but he did manage to make an appearance anyway:

Continue reading Tablet breathes fresh life into the theory Alex Rodriguez is Jewish

I expect better from a website called *Tree*hugger

California is running out of water. Almonds take a lot of water to grow. California accounts for 80% of global almond cultivation (and 99% of U.S. production). The obvious conclusion, as the BBC put it, is that “almonds are sucking California dry“. You can tell a similar story about walnuts and pistachios, if you wanted to.

But misguided as that conclusion may be, some people have taken this set of facts as a reason to reduce their overall nut consumption — and, as usual, the internet is here to help them out. Last month, Treehugger published an article titled “5 nuts not grown in California”. It explained, “National almond, walnut and pistachio crops are very thirsty, and predominantly grown in drought-stricken California; if you’re looking for alternatives, consider these.”

Seems reasonable enough. So let’s find out: which five nuts does Treehugger have in mind (cumulative nut count in parentheses)?

Continue reading I expect better from a website called *Tree*hugger

Knocking down Joel McHale’s theoretical straw man

Joel McHale was a panelist on last night’s Nightly Show when the conversation turned to hashtag deflategate. McHale came down hard for Tom Brady, so much so that he advanced a completely spurious and silly argument in Brady’s defense.

Now, admittedly, he might have realized how silly it was, because Joel only got about half the point out of his mouth before pulling up:

If you give the balls to another team, they’re going — just like — every — this is so dumb. It is so overdone, it’s ridiculous.

Figuring out what McHale wanted to say is going to take some serious sleuthing. I could parse the sentence slowly word by word, but here’s how I read the argument as a whole:

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Why does Russell Wilson no longer shill for American Family Insurance?

Divorces are never easy. And that difficulty can be magnified when the split occurs in the spotlight, as it did for quarterback Russell Wilson and ex-corporate sponsor American Family Insurance.

The couple seemed to be going strong as recently as Superbowl XLVIII. Do you remember the commercial Wilson filmed for American Family Insurance back in early 2014?

Continue reading Why does Russell Wilson no longer shill for American Family Insurance?

Just what is Haaretz desperately trying to hide in Elisheva Goldberg’s murky past?

Last week, Haaretz published a report about a minor trend that sees some Birthright students who become more critical of Israel’s policies after visiting. The piece devotes extensive coverage to notorious anti-Israel advocate Elisheva Goldberg* (who did not come to Israel through Birthright, but does volunteer with Extend, an organization that takes Birthright participants on follow-up tours of the West Bank). The article even refers to the incident that the first link in this paragraph is about (this one, if that’s confusing).

*If you don’t know why, you should probably read the link.

Though on the surface, the piece goes into great detail concerning Ms. Goldberg’s interests and activities — listing pretty much every trip she has taken abroad over the past decade or so — Haaretz appears to have gone to great lengths to actually obscure the true nature of Elisheva’s past. Because this blog has devoted a great deal of space (that’s three separate links) to the task of thoroughly exposing that past, it shall continue to do so now.

Continue reading Just what is Haaretz desperately trying to hide in Elisheva Goldberg’s murky past?

For Israeli Memorial Day, Bibi channeled his inner Pocahontas (pun intended)

On Israeli Memorial Day, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu met with several children whose parents were killed serving in the Israel Defense Forces. At some point in the discussion, a little girl asked Bibi how he felt when his brother was famously killed in the raid on Entebbe. Here’s the brief exchange, captioned in English:

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Is absinthe-only education really more effective than abstinence?

On last night’s The Nightly Show, Larry Wilmore suggested that abstinence-only education is even less effective than “absinthe-only education”, which, fine. They sound similar: I get it.

But having tried absinthe, I found myself skeptical of his claim and naturally inclined to provide some sort of further evaluation — to, you know, see if there’s more to the link between absinthe and abstinence than originally meets the eye [see above]. To this end, I needed one thing: more information.

Unfortunately, Wilmore’s proposed curriculum (which accompanied his joke as a sketch on-screen) was thoroughly unenlightening:

Continue reading Is absinthe-only education really more effective than abstinence?

Where has Jon Stewart seen Jon Stewart’s guest before?

As of last night’s show, Jon Stewart has exactly three months left on the air. Sad face. And he marked the occasion of one of the final Daily Shows with Jon Stewart by welcoming back an old friend, Secretary of Energy Ernest Moniz.

The two engaged in a fairly enlightening conversation about negotiations with Iran and the current state of the United States’ switch to a clean energy economy. That was three puns about electricity, for the record.

Wait, did I say “welcome back”? That’s weird. If you run a search for “Moniz”, the only Daily Show hits are from May 6th:

Continue reading Where has Jon Stewart seen Jon Stewart’s guest before?

What crazy universe is Mike Huckabee living in?

Mike Huckabee is running for President, which will hopefully be almost as fun as the last time he decided to do that. And he certainly kicked things off with a bang. In the speech declaring his candidacy, Huckabee had this, inter alia, to say:

Continue reading What crazy universe is Mike Huckabee living in?