Category Archives: Awkward

What was Nick Offerman drinking on The Late Show?

According to YouTube, “hilarious couple” Nick Offerman and Megan Mullally appeared on the Late Show with Stephen Colbert December 15 to “battle for the Smooshed title in this Christmas-themed edition of Late Show’s signature cooking competition.” The competition is as follows: each contestant has about a minute to, well, smoosh together available ingredients — Colbert is the judge.

In keeping with his public persona, St. Nick surveyed said available ingredients and decided to “use that bourbon to fuel my creativity” by taking a couple of long swigs before he started any smooshing:

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The irony of Trump’s “locker room talk”

As has been well-documented, our dearly beloved President-elect — the one with an ironic penchant for safe spaces — repeatedly took refuge during his election campaign in the proverbial locker room. Every time he did, I could not help but recall a semi-prescient New Yorker cover originally published back on June 1, 2015:

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Now I’m not typically one to question your choice of cover photo…

… but if you’ve been charged by the SEC with playing “a key role in an alleged scheme that allowed a ring of brokers, investment advisers and their clients to profit from the deaths of terminally ill patients“, then you may not want to think twice before you select one that both touts the position that enabled you to play this exact role, and effectively summarizes the nature of said scheme:

Continue reading Now I’m not typically one to question your choice of cover photo…

Trying to make sense of the Nin Com Soup Nutzy

A cafe in London intent on living up to a name that otherwise makes little sense for a coffee shop — Nin Com Soup — drew some attention last month when it introduced a new flavor of smoothie, decorated it with a swastika, and called it “Nutzy”.

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Setting the record straight on BART’s updated color scheme

In its article describing the new trains designed for Bay Area Rapid Transit (BART), a Bay Area Publication (BAP) felt the need to assure its readers that any similarity between the cars’ interior color scheme and Santa Clara‘s erstwhile nemesis from the north was purely incidental: “This is no homage to Russell Wilson and gang.”

But this should have gone without saying. Not because deliberate homage would have garnered few fans, or because — as BART marketing and research manager Aaron Weinstein told WIRED — “any combination of hues would run into sports allegiances,” but simply because the magazine mixed up its Seattle sports teams.

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The newest sidewalk in DC has already been victimized

Monday morning, I had to walk around the southeast corner of 19th & N while construction workers poured the newest sidewalk in DC.

By Tuesday morning, their work was mostly complete, yet I couldn’t help but notice that someone had — rather than avoiding the new pavement, like I did — taken the opportunity to share his or her personal opinion with everyone who walks by for the next ~decade:

Continue reading The newest sidewalk in DC has already been victimized

This is what happens when you let foreigners take good American jobs

Trevor Noah is not the first person to artlessly skewer Marco Rubio for being something of a sweaty guy. Indeed, Donald Trump noted it at least eight different ways a full year out from the 2016 election, and if Trump did it, you know he did it better and classier than it’s ever been done before, believe me.

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Careful what you call Chris Christie’s endorsement of Donald Trump

Conservatives and other media types are tripping over themselves to point out the absurdity inherent in Chris Christie’s recent endorsement of Donald Trump. And they’re right to do so. Whether he made the move out of spite for Marco Rubio or simply because he is angling for a cabinet position in the seemingly-inevitable Trump administration, Christie clearly has some ulterior motive.

But there’s no need to point to Christie’s past comments on the Donald as evidence for his sincerity deficit. Indeed, to prove his decision to back Trump falls somewhere short of wholehearted, one needn’t look past the Wall Street Journal’s coverage:*

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In which Marco Rubio’s campaign logo receives a much-needed makeover

I’ve published two attempts to touch up Presidential campaign logos, to decidedly mixed success. I’m still quite proud of my first effort, but the second was an unmitigated disaster. So it is with some trepidation that I tread once more in increasingly familiar waters.

But let’s be real — after I learned that Marco Rubio created an ad titled “Morning Again in America” (because “Make America Morning Again” is a phonetic disaster) using stock footage from Canada, well:

Continue reading In which Marco Rubio’s campaign logo receives a much-needed makeover

Trevor Noah ignores my advice to demonstrate its limits

On Thursday, Trevor Noah opened The Daily Show by reacting to the Supreme Court’s decision to grant a stay of Obama’s Clean Power Plan. Noah noted that the Court’s move was essentially unprecedented: “The Supreme Court blocked Obama’s climate regulation before the case even reached them. And this is the first time . . . that they’ve ever done this.”

And he followed up with a bit of advice for the Supreme Court that began to sound extremely awkward only about a day and a half after Thursday’s show. Highlights (i.e. the most relevant bits) are in bold:

Continue reading Trevor Noah ignores my advice to demonstrate its limits