As has been well-documented, our dearly beloved President-elect — the one with an ironic penchant for safe spaces — repeatedly took refuge during his election campaign in the proverbial locker room. Every time he did, I could not help but recall a semi-prescient New Yorker cover originally published back on June 1, 2015:
The internet erupted in glee late last week when Donald Trump announced that Mike Pence — and not Chris Christie — would join him on the Republican ticket. The New York Times’ take on the implications for the New Jersey governor led off as follows:
“Black Thursday,” one of Gov. Chris Christie’s least favorite local newspaper columnists called it, under a headline that declared it his “worst day ever.” At the least, it was the New Jersey governor’s terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
Poor Chris Christie. All he wants to be is Trump’s VP. Or does he?
dick-measuring contest Republican debate, Donald Trump treated the viewing audience to the following iron-clad, completely convincing refutation of Marco Rubio:
Conservatives and other media types are tripping over themselves to point out the absurdity inherent in Chris Christie’s recent endorsement of Donald Trump. And they’re right to do so. Whether he made the move out of spite for Marco Rubio or simply because he is angling for a cabinet position in the seemingly-inevitable Trump administration, Christie clearly has some ulterior motive.
But there’s no need to point to Christie’s past comments on the Donald as evidence for his sincerity deficit. Indeed, to prove his decision to back Trump falls somewhere short of wholehearted, one needn’t look past the Wall Street Journal’s coverage:*
The morning after his humiliating debate performance*, Marco Rubio’s campaign was by greeted by this pair of wise guys:
I turned on my computer last night with the intention of watching an episode of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. But the internet alerted me that a Republican debate was in progress, so I tuned into that instead. Luckily, I came just in time to catch the exchange between Chris Christie and Marco Rubio that will live in infamy.
I don’t need to summarize what happened, but I will anyway. Slash, I’ll let Politico do it for me:
The New York Times published an article Monday describing New Jersey governor Chris Christie’s propensity to enjoy expensive luxuries paid for by wealthy acquaintances:
2016 hopeful Chris Christie made headlines a week ago when he was spotted embracing Cowboys owner Jerry Jones in that franchise’s owner’s box. While that sight provoked a response of pity or disgust — or a mixture of both — among many observers, it provoked in me a question: which of those two detestable men would I prefer to become the next President of the United States?
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie and Joan Rivers have somewhat of a complicated relationship. On the one hand, you have unprovoked potshots like this one:
But on the other, there’s this:
Taking a quick break between the Massachusetts Bill of Rights* and the Articles of Confederation to pick on Mitt Romney.
*Sample highlight [the bold is mine]: “The freedom of deliberation, speech, and debate, in either house of the legislature, is so essential to the rights of the people, that it cannot be the foundation of any accusation or prosecution, action or complaint, in any other court or place whatsoever.”
Freedom of speech anywhere else? Meh.
More specifically, I would like to briefly examine Mitt Romney’s acceptance speech at last week’s RNC. Even more specifically, I would like to focus on the part where he said, “President Obama has thrown allies like Israel under the bus.” The implication, of course, is that Mitt Romney would do no such thing to allies like, but not necessarily, Israel.
Also from the RNC, and leaving aside the appropriateness of Israel-related bus analogies, the movie for which Clint Eastwood will be best-remembered [don’t believe me? Youtube his name]: