Tag Archives: Dwight

Who should the GOP draft to take down Trump? This brave five year-old girl

There’s been a lot of finger-pointing about just who is most responsible for the rise of Trump, but there is at least one point of broad consensus: for too long, the GOP was afraid of attacking him, and his adversaries spent far too long tearing down one another instead.

On some level, their strategy was understandable: Trump was a punchline until he wasn’t, and so his rivals devoted most of their energy to jockeying for second place. Moreover, it’s unclear that any of their attacks would even stick. When Marco Rubio tried his hand at insult comedy, the results fell far short of spectacular.

But those considerations did not deter all his adversaries. Back in 2010, one five year-old girl issued a challenge to Donald Trump, nearly six years before any Republican candidate managed to accomplish the same feat:

Continue reading Who should the GOP draft to take down Trump? This brave five year-old girl

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The midwife who delivered Marshawn Lynch offered his mother some piss-poor medical advice

As related by the The USA Today:

One of four children raised by a single mother, [Marshawn] Lynch arrived on April 22, 1986, with an unexpected message from the midwife: he might have had a twin that didn’t develop.

“They just knew that Marshawn was living off two placentas,” his mother, Delisa, said. “She told me that with that, he may be an amazingly strong child. And I was like, ‘For real?'”

Continue reading The midwife who delivered Marshawn Lynch offered his mother some piss-poor medical advice

Some free legal advice for Hope Solo

I should probably start this post with a disclaimer.

The first time Hope Solo was involved in an episode of domestic violence, I did my very best to write about the incident while not making light of the situation. I noted that if the allegations against then-fiance, now-husband Jerramy Stevens were true, they were obviously serious and not the proper subject of discussion on this blog.

And then I wrote about it anyway.

Now that Solo herself is the alleged perpetrator of the latest incident against her sister and nephew, I hope to similarly avoid any real discussion of the specific nature of her purported infraction. Domestic violence is not a joke. Millions of families suffer every year. I in no way intend to make light of its tragic reality.

Continue reading Some free legal advice for Hope Solo

Not sure whether Frozen actually has a homosexual agenda? Maybe this will convince you

Frozen came out in November, but it’s still making headlines — thanks to little girls dragging their mothers to the theater a half dozen times and because of the ongoing controversy over its overt homosexual agenda.

But don’t take my word for it.

The latest round of headlines came when alleged Pastor Kevin Swanson blasted the movie for trying to “indoctrinate” children into becoming gay. He didn’t much elaborate on those comments, but I invite you to recall the headlines of last month — including “Disney’s ‘Frozen’ Slammed By Mormon Grandmother For ‘Gay Agenda To Normalize Homosexuality’” — for a more thorough exploration:

Continue reading Not sure whether Frozen actually has a homosexual agenda? Maybe this will convince you

Marshawn Lynch has made a name for himself in Beast Mode. But what kind of Beast is he?

Marshawn Lynch was in Beast Mode long before he showed up in Seattle via mid-season trade in 2010. And it didn’t take long for him to demonstrate why he earned that nickname:

But all this begs an obvious question, as you may have gathered from the subject line of this post: just what species of beast is he?

We got a preliminary answer during last week’s game, when the broadcast briefly cut away to the Seattle aquariam for a quick peek at Marshawn Pinch:

Continue reading Marshawn Lynch has made a name for himself in Beast Mode. But what kind of Beast is he?

Meet the boy who had a fetus removed from his belly

A story emerged today of a two year-old boy from China who underwent a surgical procedure to remove a twin growing inside of him:

When Xiao Feng was admitted to a hospital in China with an extremely swollen stomach, doctors made a pretty disturbing find: The 2-year-old boy was carrying his own twin inside his stomach.

In other words, his mother’s womb originally housed two fetuses, but one absorbed the other and emerged as an only child. Lucky for him, or his parents would have had to choose which One Child to keep.

As it turns out, this is a fairly common occurrence. I don’t say this on the basis of the scientific figures cited by Newser, but because just such an event has even been described on national television:

Continue reading Meet the boy who had a fetus removed from his belly

Hulu is a liar. And pathetic. And alone in life. And mean. And mean. And mean.

My first semester ended at 4PM yesterday. By 6:40, I was all caught up on Stewart and Colbert — for the first time all semester. Yes, I watched every episode of the two shows over the course of the semester. No, it is not easy to keep up with the telly while school is in session. Over the past four months, I’ve been within one week of catching up only twice.

Which is why I rely on Hulu for a little bit of a cushion with my other shows. In theory, the five most-recent episodes of Parks and Recreation are available for free. In practice, not so much:

Hulus dirty lying

The text inside the green circle clearly states that five episodes of Parks & Rec are available at a time. The colored numbers indicate whether or not those episodes are, indeed, available for free. As you can see, they only go to up to 4 (#s 5 and 6 both have the little green Hulu+ requirement in the upper left-hand corner).

Jerry!

Contrast that with The Office, which is thankfully able to count:

Hulus sometimes not lying

My guess is they didn’t leave Kevin in charge of the counting.

Listen, I know you can find any and all of this stuff online with no time restrictions and ad-free (including, in this particular instance, NBC’s own website). But I’m also more than happy to support the shows by watching them through legal channels — just not TV channels. I would just appreciate a little more accountability.

And now, I have a few weeks to catch up on Season 2 of Homeland.

Was Sandy a guy or girl?

Now that Sandy has finally dissipated in fact — if not in effect — people want to know all sorts of things: what does Sandy mean for the election? Was it caused by global warming? Will power ever be restored on Long Island?

But I’ve come across only one person asking the truly important questions:

Hurricane Sandy. Sandy? What kind of name is that? Are you a dude storm or a lady storm?

Sandy, like Sandy Koufax (Dodgers) and Sandy Cohen (the OC)? Or Sandy, like Sandy Day O’Connor — OK, is the lack of women I immediately recognize on Wikipedia’s list of people named Sandy an indication that Sandy was a guy?

Turns out there’s a definitive answer: Hurricane Sandy was a chick.

Hurricane Names are chosen years ahead of time, but follow two very predictable patterns: One, their names go in order of the Alphabet, so Hurricane Alastair always comes before Hurricane Bishnu comes before Hurricane Caligula, and so on. Two, their names alternate by gender, so Hurricane Moses would never by followed by Hurricane Nachman m’Uman – though Hurricane Miriam might.

So all you have to do to determine Sandy’s gender is look at this year’s pre-published Hurricane list and figure out whether the odd names are male and the even female, or vice versa. Here’s the list:

Continue reading Was Sandy a guy or girl?