I’ve been trying to follow recent developments in the deliciously-named* Whitefish, Montana. Of course, I am concerned for the health and well-being of my co-religionists and other wonderful people who have been targeted there. But also — given that the town is less than a nine-hour drive from Seattle — it has occurred to me that the same skinheads bussing themselves in from as far away as the Bay Area** could probably also find their way here. Which is why I find it so frustrating when the esteemed journalists of the New York Times are derelict in their duty to, you know, journalize.
Back on August 10, just after Donald Trump suggested that perhaps “the Second Amendment people” could do “something” about Hillary Clinton, and his supporters explained he meant they could put on an unprecedented display of unity, Trevor Noah had a very reasonable-sounding complaint about a potential Trump Presidency:
But neither side in the standoff — neither those who requested snacks nor those who sent dildos — identified what #yallqaeda really and truly needs. If only they’d read the New York Times:
The New York Times isn’t the only news outlet that can’t write an accurate headline these days.
Morningly blog posts dedicated to recapping last night’s late night rank among my least favorite practices in passionate pursuit of page views. Ostensibly reputable websites should report on things that actually happen in the real world, not simply parrot what a few comedians had to say about it the night before.
Listen, I understand the motivation: pageviews. But is it really too much to ask that the pointless headlines generated in this way at least try and be accurate?
Dave Goldberg tragically passed away this past weekend when he passed out on a treadmill (though I’m pretty sure we could have passed on some of the details). Goldberg, perhaps better known as Mr. Sandberg, turns out to have been quite the impressive figure in his own right: he served as CEO of SurveyMonkey — which landed a nearly $2 billion valuation late in 2014 — for just over six years.
As it happens, SurveyMonkey was also the target of extended ridicule on the part of Larry Wilmore during a segment of the Nightly Show that aired just two weeks before this past weekend’s unfortunate incident. This screenshot marks just the beginning:
For some reason, the New York Times recently saw fit to profile British “microadventurer” Alastair Humphreys. To be clear: I am, generally speaking, supportive of Sir Humphreys’s message, which basically amounts to “Go outside even when you’re not on vacation.”
That said, he doesn’t seem to have a strong grasp of how America works. Here’s how the Times’ brief interview wrapped up:
I don’t only write about late-night Comedy Central television programming. It only sometimes seems like I do. And in this case, it seems too much — this post is about Teddy Roosevelt, not Stephen Colbert.
When Colbert’s guest, Rob Rhinehart — the inventor of soylent, the food-like food substitute — pointed out that “the environmental burden of animal products is massive” and invoked President Theodore Roosevelt in support of a pro-conservation agenda, the Colbert Report host was ready to retort in kind: “Teddy Roosevelt also said, ‘I’m going to go kill and eat a moose.'” Touché, Mr. Colbert. As host, you get the last word — fortunately, the internet has empowered me with the ability to write words and scatter them to the ether(net), and I intend to take full advantage of that opportunity to take a slightly more nuanced look at Teddy’s relationship with animal consumption.
Roosevelt’s was, of course, a hunter who loved to pose with victims he’d have to pony up $350K+ to embullet today (partly thanks to his own pioneering efforts in land and animal conservation — but more about those momentarily):
Newtown made headlines again recently when it was revealed that the most recent shooter who killed three people and injured sixteen more at Fort Hood was known to have vented about Adam Lanza, the individual who — as you well know — brought an assault rifle to Sandy Hook Elementary School and shot 26 people and then himself. Some people blame easy access to guns for enabling these tragedies. Other people blame this country’s treatment of mental illnesses. I think they’re both right — but I also don’t think that the existence of one problem excuses dealing with the other.
What follows is a selection of statuses that appeared in my Facebook newsfeed following the events of that fateful December event. I’m citing them as a representative sample, since I’m way too lazy to search the internet for others. But I’m sure you’ve seen this sort of thinking before, so I’m not going to lose too much sleep over being somewhat less than scientific:
Stephen Colbert was recently subjected to a Twitter campaign to force him off the air — #CancelColbert — thanks to a tweet* that was published late last week by his show’s account:
As something of a reward for surviving that media firestorm, Colbert was able to devote the majority of The Report on Monday to his response. He even got to have Twitter co-founder Biz Stone on as a guest.
Never wanting to be left out, Jon Stewart did his best to grab his own piece of the controversy. In a segment about the recent arrest of Chinese-American politician Leland Yee, he made a racially-insensitive joke that lumps orientals together just like Ching Chong Ding Dong in willful ignorance of the obvious fact that Yee is neither Vietnamese-American nor named Nguyen:
Isaac Saul has a great piece up on Huffington Post, What Richard Sherman Taught Us About America. In case you had any doubts from my previous coverage of the incident, I enjoyed Saul’s defense of the star cornerback. But I also want to defend America, which is why I take issue with two pieces of his analysis.
Here’s the first excerpt I want to talk about: