Tag Archives: Marco Rubio

The irony of Trump’s “locker room talk”

As has been well-documented, our dearly beloved President-elect — the one with an ironic penchant for safe spaces — repeatedly took refuge during his election campaign in the proverbial locker room. Every time he did, I could not help but recall a semi-prescient New Yorker cover originally published back on June 1, 2015:

Continue reading The irony of Trump’s “locker room talk”

Sometimes, the corrections just write themselves

Now that the President-elect elected to select the unelectable Rick Perry to direct the Department of Energy — the very agency he infamously  tried, and failed, to inform voters he would shut down if they made him President of these United States — I thought now might be a good opportunity to instruct the media on word choice.

Back in May, Grist published an article about Trump’s erstwhile plan to totally abolish the Environmental Protection Agency, and detailed Republican animosity toward that agency more generally:

Continue reading Sometimes, the corrections just write themselves

Who should the GOP draft to take down Trump? This brave five year-old girl

There’s been a lot of finger-pointing about just who is most responsible for the rise of Trump, but there is at least one point of broad consensus: for too long, the GOP was afraid of attacking him, and his adversaries spent far too long tearing down one another instead.

On some level, their strategy was understandable: Trump was a punchline until he wasn’t, and so his rivals devoted most of their energy to jockeying for second place. Moreover, it’s unclear that any of their attacks would even stick. When Marco Rubio tried his hand at insult comedy, the results fell far short of spectacular.

But those considerations did not deter all his adversaries. Back in 2010, one five year-old girl issued a challenge to Donald Trump, nearly six years before any Republican candidate managed to accomplish the same feat:

Continue reading Who should the GOP draft to take down Trump? This brave five year-old girl

The Daily Show wasted its imagination on Marco’s road to the White House

[Editor’s note: I wrote this post a week ago. I promptly forgot to publish it. Rubio’s departure from the primary this evening simultaneously reminded me of its existence and rendered it obsolete. C’est la vie.]

Last week [Editor’s note: two weeks ago], in the immediate wake of Super Tuesday, The Daily Show put together a segment contrasting the Rubio campaign’s persistent optimism with Marco’s underwhelming performance in the Republican primaries so far:

Continue reading The Daily Show wasted its imagination on Marco’s road to the White House

This is what happens when you let foreigners take good American jobs

Trevor Noah is not the first person to artlessly skewer Marco Rubio for being something of a sweaty guy. Indeed, Donald Trump noted it at least eight different ways a full year out from the 2016 election, and if Trump did it, you know he did it better and classier than it’s ever been done before, believe me.

Continue reading This is what happens when you let foreigners take good American jobs

Tonight’s debate inspired me to write a little song about Trump

During tonight’s dick-measuring contest Republican debate, Donald Trump treated the viewing audience to the following iron-clad, completely convincing refutation of Marco Rubio:

Continue reading Tonight’s debate inspired me to write a little song about Trump

Careful what you call Chris Christie’s endorsement of Donald Trump

Conservatives and other media types are tripping over themselves to point out the absurdity inherent in Chris Christie’s recent endorsement of Donald Trump. And they’re right to do so. Whether he made the move out of spite for Marco Rubio or simply because he is angling for a cabinet position in the seemingly-inevitable Trump administration, Christie clearly has some ulterior motive.

But there’s no need to point to Christie’s past comments on the Donald as evidence for his sincerity deficit. Indeed, to prove his decision to back Trump falls somewhere short of wholehearted, one needn’t look past the Wall Street Journal’s coverage:*

Continue reading Careful what you call Chris Christie’s endorsement of Donald Trump

If only Stephen Colbert had read Paper Treiger

A good friend is extremely fond of Stephen Colbert, but somewhat less committed to actually watching his every word than I am. So when I do watch The Late Show with Stephen Colbert (to say nothing of the Colbert Report before it) every next-morning, I try to pass along his best work as a public service.

Truth(iness) is, the worthwhile pieces have been noticeably fewer and farther between since Stephen made the switch to CBS, despite the fact that he now has twice as long on the air — not to mention Fridays! Indeed, this past Friday’s show contained just the third LSSC clip I felt moved to forward [redacted]’s way. The clip in question was, in my opinion, vintage Colbert:

Continue reading If only Stephen Colbert had read Paper Treiger

In which Marco Rubio’s campaign logo receives a much-needed makeover

I’ve published two attempts to touch up Presidential campaign logos, to decidedly mixed success. I’m still quite proud of my first effort, but the second was an unmitigated disaster. So it is with some trepidation that I tread once more in increasingly familiar waters.

But let’s be real — after I learned that Marco Rubio created an ad titled “Morning Again in America” (because “Make America Morning Again” is a phonetic disaster) using stock footage from Canada, well:

Continue reading In which Marco Rubio’s campaign logo receives a much-needed makeover