Tag Archives: Patriots

Tonight’s debate inspired me to write a little song about Trump

During tonight’s dick-measuring contest Republican debate, Donald Trump treated the viewing audience to the following iron-clad, completely convincing refutation of Marco Rubio:

Continue reading Tonight’s debate inspired me to write a little song about Trump

Knocking down Joel McHale’s theoretical straw man

Joel McHale was a panelist on last night’s Nightly Show when the conversation turned to hashtag deflategate. McHale came down hard for Tom Brady, so much so that he advanced a completely spurious and silly argument in Brady’s defense.

Now, admittedly, he might have realized how silly it was, because Joel only got about half the point out of his mouth before pulling up:

If you give the balls to another team, they’re going — just like — every — this is so dumb. It is so overdone, it’s ridiculous.

Figuring out what McHale wanted to say is going to take some serious sleuthing. I could parse the sentence slowly word by word, but here’s how I read the argument as a whole:

Continue reading Knocking down Joel McHale’s theoretical straw man

How anti-Semitic are New England Patriots fans?

ESPN’s Stephen A. Smith made headlines yesterday when he (sort of nonsensically) accused the Philadelphia Eagles of making roster decisions on the basis of race. But the idea of a racist team in the modern NFL is not so far-fetched — it’s probably just playing in Foxborough.

Suspicions were raised last year, when the Patriots’ official Twitter account shared the following:

Continue reading How anti-Semitic are New England Patriots fans?

I’ve never been more disappointed in Russell Wilson, Part Two

Pete Carroll and Darrell Bevell got most of the blame for the way this year’s Super Bowl ended, but since he was the one who actually threw the game-ending interception, Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson also managed to disappoint more than a few of his “fans”.

I chronicled numerous examples of that disappointment in the first installment of this series.

I, too, have been disappointed in Russell Wilson, but not because of his play on the football field. So this is the second in a series of short posts chronicling some of the reasons for my disappointment.

Continue reading I’ve never been more disappointed in Russell Wilson, Part Two

Brandon Browner is a freaking prophet

One big reason Tom Brady and his Patriots were able to score four touchdowns in the Super Bowl was the health of the Seahawks’ secondary: Earl’s separated shoulder and torn labrum. Sherman’s elbow. Kam’s bone bruise and torn MCL.

New England was more than aware of those injuries, and planned to take advantage of them from before the first snap. Here’s former-Seahawk, current-Patriot Brandon Browner before the game:

Continue reading Brandon Browner is a freaking prophet

Literally the dumbest thing anyone said during the Super Bowl

You are surely aware that there are three kinds of lies: lies, damn lies, and statistics. But don’t forget there are also three kinds of dumb: dumb, extremely dumb… and statistics.

Behold this tweet, published by Pro Football Reference during the Super Bowl one week ago today:

Continue reading Literally the dumbest thing anyone said during the Super Bowl

NFL rhymes with What the Hell

The NFL announced that it has fined four players for their roles in the scuffle that closed out last Sunday’s Super Bowl. I suppose I’m fine with that: those players fought with one another in front of over a hundred million people, and gave the league a black eye (if not one another, because punching a guy’s helmet is more adorably futile than anything else, even for an NFL player). So sure, fine them. But not like this: Continue reading NFL rhymes with What the Hell

I’ve never been more disappointed in Russell Wilson, Part One

Pete Carroll and Darrell Bevell got most of the blame for the way this year’s Super Bowl ended, but since he was the one who actually threw the game-ending interception, Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson also managed to disappoint more than a few of his “fans”:

Continue reading I’ve never been more disappointed in Russell Wilson, Part One

What I got wrong about “Real patriots don’t root for New England”

In the week before the Super Bowl, I reminded Americans that victory for the Patriots meant victory for Vladimir Putin — or as I cast him (pun intended), the once and future Lord of the Rings.

Well, that was wrong, but thanks to fellow 12th Man Andy Dwyer, I’ve been set straight. Putin’s no Sauron — he’s, well:

Continue reading What I got wrong about “Real patriots don’t root for New England”

A questionable Huffington Post headline featuring Vladimir Putin

Vladimir Putin might soon have himself another Super Bowl ring, which reminded me of something i spotted back in May on the Huffington Post. It seems that whoever was in charge of writing the headlines one day was feeling unusually curious:

Continue reading A questionable Huffington Post headline featuring Vladimir Putin