According to one mistaken reviewer on Trip Advisor, the following photograph depicts a “British beef burger”:
King Felix is set — later this afternoon — to make his first “start” under the brand new $175m contract extension he signed with Seattle exactly one month ago. His debut will, fittingly, take place just one day after the tragic passing of the the dearly-beloved leader of his home country, Comrade Hugo Chavez. May the King’s performance bring great honor to his memory.
I don’t have a lot to add to what’s already been written on the subject, but I do have a little to add, in the form of my tenuous personal connection to King Felix.
You may recall that I attended his first perfect game in August while wearing a heart monitor. When I heard that Felix would be resigning, I felt a momentary pang of regret — almost as though I had been derelict in my duty — that I was no longer wearing said heart monitor, and so would not warrant another article on MLB.com.
That moment passed, of course, when I realized the fact that I no longer need to wear a heart monitor means I have many more years of watching King Felix throw perfect games to look forward to. Also, heart monitors are annoying to wear, and to put it on they have to shave off small awkward patches of chest hair. And now you know.
Meanwhile, baseball fans across the country felt a pang of regret for altogether different reasons. I speak, of course, of those fans and pundits who long predicted Felix would never agree to stay in Seattle. It would appear he successfully trolled them all — but it’s hard to argue they didn’t deserve it. Here’s a sample:
Thursday morning – at around 11AM – my mother sent an email bearing a simple message: ‘hikers beware’, accompanied by a link. At that very moment, I was considering whether to join a short overnight expedition, so I thought it prudent to learn of what, precisely, hikers should be aware:
Olympic National Forest trail closed by goats
The Associated Press, HOODSPORT, Wash. —
Olympic National Forest has closed a trail near Hoodsport for two weeks because of aggressive mountain goats. The forest says there were several encounters this week with aggressive goats on the Mount Ellinor Trail, 18 miles northwest of Hoodsport.
Wildlife biologist Kurt Aluzas said the goats may be on the trails because of this year’s deep snowpack. Goats are also drawn to hiking trails seeking salt, and nanny goats may be aggressive protecting their young.
Violating the closure order could bring a maximum penalty of a $5,000 fine and six months in jail.
This wasn’t the first time the goats of Olympic National Park have made the news: Tim Egan wrote about them a year ago for The New York Times. Still, the AP article made me feel better about my plans to go hiking. For one, I wasn’t planning to hike Mount Ellinor. For two, I wouldn’t even be in ONP – I was heading to the North Cascades. But most importantly, I know those goats on Mount Ellinor, and they’re my friends: