About a year ago, back before even one episode of the Late Show with Stephen Colbert ever aired on CBS, the network wanted to introduce its shiny new host to a broader audience. And so journalists like Dave Itzkoff found themselves with behind-the-scenes access as Colbert & friends frantically readied for their big launch. What they produced, generally speaking, was not journalism. Here’s a sample I found particularly objectionable:
I wrote last week about the South Koreans who occasionally float Choco Pies over the Korean Demilitarized Zone (“My delicious vision for Israel’s border looks a lot like North & South Korea’s Demilitarized Zone“), and expressed the wish that Israelis and Palestinians might follow the nonviolent example set in that other seemingly-intractable conflict:
The Qassam rockets were neutralized by Iron Dome. The (known) tunnels have been destroyed, and Israel is busy developing the technology necessary to detect them in the future (or is at the very least now more attuned to the threat). So what
fun fruit roll ups diabolical plan will Hamas roll up with next?
It’s almost Tisha B’av, and that means The Children Are Ready — to be precise, The Children Are Ready III.
Ready for what?
To record the latest fundraising video on behalf of the Temple Institute! The organization recently released its third annual video calling for the rebuilding of the Jewish Temple in Jerusalem — you may recall earlier editions if you close your eyes and concentrate — or you can just click on these links (first and second).
But what is different about this video from all other videos? The 5774 version is accompanied by a brand new Indiegogo campaign, titled simply “Build the Third Temple“:*
I didn’t post this on the 9th of Av because it was Shabbat, and I didn’t post it on the 10th of Av, for obvious reasons, and I didn’t post it on the 11th of Av because I had better things to do, and so here we are on the 12th.
After all that time, you just might remember the tune for Eli Zion – if not, feel free to refresh your memory. Either way, I couldn’t help but notice the similarity when I first listened to this song (in 2007), though – as it was nowhere near Av on the calendar – it did take me a few days to place it. Look at all that work I’ve saved you by identifying both tunes up front! No need to listen past where the singing starts (about a minute in) unless you want to:
It’s a shame you’re not really supposed to buy new clothes on Tisha B’Av, cause I’d be lying if I said these pecs didn’t seriously tempt me:
And at that price, what Jew wouldn’t spring for this shirt?
To be fair, the choice of cotton makes a lot of sense, as it is the only one of the five most heavily-subsidized crops in America that is not edible (the others: wheat, corn, rice, and soy).
And girls, no need to worry – you’re also covered (below your elbows, even! Though maybe someone can do something about those pants):
As if that style isn’t tempting enough, check out some other day-appropriate offerings: