As you may have heard, the New England Patriots stand accused of deflating the balls they used on offense in the AFC Championship Game, in clear violation of NFL rules. And if Tom Brady can turn #deflategate into a series of inappropriate jokes, I am more than willing to play along. This shouldn’t be too hard.
Patriots apologists eagerly point out that Tom Brady would hardly be the first quarterback to alter his balls: fellow quarterback
Brad Johnson BJ described precisely how he did so 12 Super Bowls ago.
And as it turns out, the problem would appear to be much bigger than just QBs: The Patriots’ opponents in the Super Bowl are the Seattle Seahawks, who are better known in certain circles as the Seadderall Cheathawks due to an alleged proclivity for indulging in a specific substance banned by the NFL. Among the reported side-effects of adderall? You guessed it: deflated balls.
The good news for the National Football League is that another major sports league appears to have overcome similar hardships a decade or so past, after androtestosterone shrunk many notable “grapes to raisins.” MLB managed to put the issue behind it; this too shall pass. Like Tom Brady . . . right to Richard Sherman. Go Hawks.