Paper Treiger braces for upcoming worker’s comp claim

I always joke I want to hire an intern. Like everyone else, I’m behind on life, and an extra set of hands to do all the things I’d like to but don’t have time for would go a long way towards fixing that problem — and until I can clone myself, an intern is the only viable option.

But as I said, that’s a pipe dream; though it has twice featured guest bloggers, this blog has always been wholly owned and operated by a single individual. It has never hired an employee to do its work, dirty or otherwise.

With one exception.

Back in 2011, when Paper Treiger was the subject of virulent protest less than one short week after its inauguration, it hired UC Davis Police Lt. John Pike to disperse the dirty occupiers:

Shedding some light on the fob-that-can-open-any-door crime spree

The Today Show/NBC just published a story — Police admit they’re ‘stumped’ by mystery car thefts — detailing how “criminals have designed a new high-tech gadget giving them full access to your car. It’s so easy, it’s like the criminals have your actual door remote.” What? How? Read on:

A Long Beach, Calif., surveillance video shows a thief approaching a locked SUV in a driveway. Police say he’s carrying a small device in the palm of his hand. You can barely see it, but he aims it at the car and pops the locks electronically. He’s in, with access to everything. No commotion at all.

Then his accomplice shows up and hits another car, using that same handheld device.

Long Beach Deputy Police Chief David Hendricks is mystified. “This is bad in the sense we’re stumped,” he told us. “We are stumped and we don’t know what this technology is.”

Well, surely you must have some idea of what the technology is?

He said it’s almost like the thieves are cloning your car remote, which is virtually impossible to do. Here’s why: On most cars, when you hit the unlock button, it sends a code to the car. That code is encrypted and constantly changing — and should be hackproof.

Jim Stickley is one of the country’s leading security experts. He’s watched the tapes, and he’s stumped too.

“This is really frustrating because clearly they’ve figured out something that looks really simple and whatever it is they’re doing, it takes just seconds to do,” Stickley said. “And you look and you go, ‘That should not be possible.'”

Police are so baffled they want to see if you can help crack the case.

I take it back: if the police are asking me for help, they clearly have no idea what the technology is. Fortunately, I’m happy to point them back in the right direction.

Inspired by yesterday’s post about the library, here’s where I’d suggest they start: get the genre straight. The Today Show article starts off on the wrong foot, declaring in its opening sentence, “This is a real mystery.” The Hardy Boys and the Boxcar Children are certainly nice, but I think the cops might just be poking around the wrong section of Barnes & Noble: what if it’s not a question of technology at all? What if it’s — magic an illusion(, Michael):