We should have seen Bleachgazi coming

Whatever your opinion on how it happened, it’s clear that the United States failed its coronavirus test.

As of today, this country accounts for more than a quarter of the global death toll, and has suffered more than twice as many deaths as the next runner up. Of course, it might be years before we have a fuller accounting of the final count — if we ever do — but the official score is only likely to get worse.

And while those grim facts certainly suggest somebody screwed up bigly, it doesn’t necessarily settle the question. The trick, if you’re responsible for the process, is convincing people (in certain states) that the result was actually beyond your control. In the case of coronavirus, Donald Trump and his praetorian guard have put forward an argument precisely along these lines — it would have been impossible to prepare much better, because nobody saw this coming:

Mea culpa: Teddy Roosevelt’s ride and the bullsh*t moose

Two weeks ago, I noticed that a number of people were busily broadcasting a small piece of fake news. I wrote a quick post describing their error, and confronted as many purveyors of misinformation as I could find. Many of them retracted or deleted their posts, more of them simply ignored my correction, and a very small handful (generally people with an obvious bone to pick) responded with what I will generously characterize as profound indifference to the truth.

None of this has anything to do with Teddy Roosevelt, except to explain that to the extent I have expressed concern regarding the spread of fake news on the internet, I feel obligated to own up when I myself have fallen victim to that exact scourge.

Maybe your cat should be in quarantine, too

There’s a lot we still don’t know about the coronavirus. In case you needed a reminder, the New York Times published a column on the fifth day of Passover obviously just meant to show up the Four Questions. The post, titled When Will Life Be Normal Again? We Just Don’t Know, posed literally dozens of questions detailing just some of what scientists and policymakers have yet to figure out about the virus. (Technically, very few of these were framed as actual questions, but the Four Questions also suffer from this same defect.)

Amidst all this uncertainty, here’s one thing scientists have recently learned for sure: tigers can come down with COVID-19. Specifically, at least one tiger at the Bronx zoo was diagnosed with the coronavirus earlier this month and several other big cats appeared to have symptoms but were not tested. Coverage of this discovery tends to center on a single follow-up concern: does it therefore follow that you can infect your beloved kitteh?

Setting the record straight on BART’s updated color scheme

In its article describing the new trains designed for Bay Area Rapid Transit (BART), a Bay Area Publication (BAP) felt the need to assure its readers that any similarity between the cars’ interior color scheme and Santa Clara‘s erstwhile nemesis from the north was purely incidental: “This is no homage to Russell Wilson and gang.”

But this should have gone without saying. Not because deliberate homage would have garnered few fans, or because — as BART marketing and research manager Aaron Weinstein told WIRED — “any combination of hues would run into sports allegiances,” but simply because the magazine mixed up its Seattle sports teams.

Steve Bannon is not so far outside the American mainstream, after all

Now that erstwhile campaign manager Steve Bannon helped make the White House white (nationalist) again, President-Elect Donald Trump graciously decided to let him stick around. Unsurprisingly, the announcement that Bannon would fill the role of chief strategist in the Trump administration caused consternation in the Jewish community due to his ex-wife’s allegation that he is an anti-Semite.

Although said ex proffered several bits of evidence to support her claim, only one has been corroborated by independent sources: that Bannon wanted to know why the Westland School’s library stocked so many books about Chanuka. In context, the fact that Bannon singled out Chanuka suggests an unseemly level of concern over Jewish representation at the school.*

Never count your weddings before they match

Last Monday, WIRED published an article titled Why Parks and Recreation’s Final Season Was Its Best Ever. Whether or not you agree with the piece’s premise, one thing is clear: published the day before NBC actually aired the Parks & Rec finale, the article was clearly premature. Just consider the following excerpt [SPOILERS AHEAD]:

Here’s the right way for Ebola Healthcare workers to get undressed

An article recently appeared in WIRED, How Ebola Healthcare Workers Get Dressed, documenting the laborious process by which Ebola healthcare workers must suit up to combat the disease (and avoid contracting it themselves).

All very interesting, but as CNN’s Sanjay Gupta helpfully demonstrated, the danger to doctors and nurses is greatest while they’re taking the protective gear off. Luckily, I’m here with the solution — just run the following in reverse:*

What Richard Sherman Didn’t Teach Us About America

Isaac Saul has a great piece up on Huffington Post, What Richard Sherman Taught Us About America. In case you had any doubts from my previous coverage of the incident, I enjoyed Saul’s defense of the star cornerback. But I also want to defend America, which is why I take issue with two pieces of his analysis.

Here’s the first excerpt I want to talk about:

Marshawn Lynch has made a name for himself in Beast Mode. But what kind of Beast is he?

Marshawn Lynch was in Beast Mode long before he showed up in Seattle via mid-season trade in 2010. And it didn’t take long for him to demonstrate why he earned that nickname:

But all this begs an obvious question, as you may have gathered from the subject line of this post: just what species of beast is he?

We got a preliminary answer during last week’s game, when the broadcast briefly cut away to the Seattle aquariam for a quick peek at Marshawn Pinch:

Blame the continuing ban on in-flight electronics on Virgin America

When I received an email from Jetblue a week ago (Subject line: Take off without shutting off!), I thought the airline was improperly taking credit where none whatsoever was properly due: